STORIES FROM THE SALT FLATS, STORIES FROM THE SEA; STORIES FROM THE ... UM, VINEGAR PLACE

Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar Potato Chips

You know you're getting something special when they bring out the malt vinegar. The junk food elite have come to expect adjectives with their salt, and with their vinegar. This is one issue on which vegan and non-vegan alike share a bond. And I'll tell you what: Miss Vickie's a classy lady. She's not going to kiss you on the first date so you can cut out the whole staged awkward silence act. Also, when she makes a chip, she does it with feeling. There's a little bit of Miss Vickie in every crunchy bite, and I'm not trying to be gross. They're crunchy, they're salty, they're vinegary, and all in the right proportions. They're just great. When you want to eat crap but you don't want it to come from an animal, Vickie's your gal.

Old Dutch "Dutch Crunch" Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
These taste an awful lot like Miss Vickie's, only they're cheaper. I'm not accusing Old Dutch of anything here. I have some Dutch friends and they seem to be on the level. They have a dog named Beertje and that's a pretty cool name for a dog. I'm just saying. They taste VERY similar. Possibly a little less love in each bite. But they're cheaper.

President's Choice Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Old Fashioned Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
Balsamic. Balsamic. You just know that when the folks down at PC came up with this one, they were jumping around the boardroom slapping partially successful high fives. In one big middle finger to the top-shelf potato chip industry, PC rendered malt vinegar the kettle chip equivalent to "I'd rather push a Chevy than drive a Ford" ballcaps.
And they're pretty good, too. But a word of caution: These chips are so greasy there is literally a little puddle at the bottom of the bag. Reader, I'm embarassed to tell you how little this bothered me. Balsamic.